Writing To Heal: Using Journaling As A Tool For Self-Discovery

As I look back on my life, I realize I have always been searching for myself. Not the self that others told me I was, but my true Self. The Self hidden under all the labels placed on me, the list of things I should be, and the list of things I should not, could not, or would not be.

JOURNALING FOR SELF-DISCOVERY

This quest for Self is what started my journaling journey. I craved the answers to the question others seemed to so easily answer: “Who am I?” As a young black girl in a white suburban town in the midwest, I felt that I was constantly being put in a box of what I should be, by people who had no idea what it was like to constantly be “the other.” I never felt like I fit in with my white friends. I didn’t feel understood by my white teachers. I felt alone and unseen. My journal became my confidant. It was the only space I had to voice all these conflicting and confusing feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants.

HOW DOES JOURNALING LEAD TO SELF-DISCOVERY?

Journaling leads to self-discovery by providing you with a safe space to explore all the things that make you, you. In your journaling practice, you can reflect on:

•  your past experiences and how they affect you in the present
• the stories you’ve been told and have been telling about yourself
• your patterns and behaviors and how they do or don’t serve you
• why you formed your patterns and behaviors in the first place and how you can release or reshape them to support your healing and growth
• the beliefs you have about yourself and whether or not they are true and empowering
• what brings you joy and peace
• what depletes and replenishes your energy
• what parts of yourself you embrace, reject, or ignore

The following is an excerpt from my journal that led me to reflect and discover how my habit of keeping my struggles to myself has affected me:

11/24/22 

I’m realizing how much I have pushed my feelings down in the past. Somewhere along the way I started to believe that my feelings were bad, showing them, even worse. Showing my emotions left me open and vulnerable. It became important to hide and mask what was going on inside. I had to show others that they had no affect on me or my confidence.

By masking my feelings I built a wall around myself. I always felt alone, even when I wasn’t. It became easier to be alone. Then I didn’t have to work so hard to hide everything I was feeling inside. I didn’t have to become someone else. I wasn’t as exhausted.

By masking my feelings, I didn’t create or maintain boundaries. Since I wasn’t showing my true feelings, no one knew when they had crossed my boundaries. By not speaking up, I let certain behaviors go unchecked, causing me to feel deep resentment over time. I was adding to my own distress by not showing others how I wanted to be treated. I didn’t believe I had that right. I didn’t believe I deserved to set boundaries.

Unlearning these patterns has been difficult. It’s painful to look back at how I treated myself, to see how little I valued myself. But looking back helps me to see how far I’ve come. Just the fact that I know I AM WORTHY is a miracle.

WHY IS SELF-DISCOVERY IMPORTANT?

Self-discovery is important because it allows you to come home to yourself. Self-discovery supports you in understanding who you are and accepting all parts of yourself fully. This knowledge and insight enables you to live authentically and intentionally by making choices that align with your higher purpose.

SELF-DISCOVERY JOURNAL PROMPTS

Using journaling prompts has made a huge impact on my self-discovery journey. Intentional journal  prompts can lead you to insights, wisdom, and discoveries that wouldn’t gain from simply journaling about your day. 

Using journaling prompts has made a huge impact on my self-discovery journey. Intentional journal  prompts can lead you to insights, wisdom, and discoveries that wouldn’t gain from simply journaling about your day. 

Interested in journaling for self-discovery? The following are self-discovery journal prompts that can support you in understanding and accepting yourself.

Reflect To Remember Who You Are

1. Who am I?
2. What stories do not belong to me that am I holding on to? (from Alex Elle’s How We Heal)
3. What stories, good or bad, have shaped me? (from Alex Elle’s How We Heal)
4. Are these stories true? (this question has led me to some major insights and helped me reframe my view of myself)
5. What parts of me do I love or admire? What parts of me are difficult to accept?
6. Write a letter to a younger version of you. What advice, support, or compassion would you give to your younger self?
7. Describe yourself using the first 10 words that come to mind. Then list words you’d like to use to describe yourself. List some ways to turn those words you’d like to use about yourself into reality.

Face Your Fears

1. What am I afraid of?
2. Where does this fear come from? When did you first experience this fear?
3. How does this fear show up in my life?
4. How do you feel about your fear?
5. What does fear feel like in your body?
6. What can I do to begin facing my fears?
7. Interview your fear. Ask the following questions (and any others that spontaneously occur to you).

• What does my fear care most about?
• What does my fear hope to accomplish in my life?
• How does my fear feel about me?
• Does my fear trust me? Why or why not?
• What is my fear afraid of?

(from Amber Lea Starfire)

Rediscover Your Passions

1. What brought me joy as a child?
2. What brings me joy now?
3. What are my favorite things to do in my free time?
4. What am I really good at?
5. What topics would I like to learn more about?
6. What would I do If I didn’t need to worry about money or other responsibilities?
7. What kind of work would I do for free?

Live Your Best Life

1. Am I happy in my life? Why or why not?
2. What do I need now?
3. What are the most important things in my life?
4. What are my daily self-care rituals?
5. How can I live a more intentional life?
6. What are my limiting beliefs? How can I shift them?
7. What are you grateful for?

IN SUMMARY

Journaling is a powerful self-discovery tool that can support you to deeply connect with yourself by looking within and asking and answering the questions that will help you live a more joyful, peaceful, and purposeful life. When beginning or deepening your journaling practice for self-discovery, using  intentional journaling prompts like the ones I’ve shared is a great way to gain insight, wisdom, and begin to take the steps necessary to be the happiest and healthiest version of yourself.